Whackamole
by xfreak0310
Summary: It's Christmas time, and the Joker has a great plan to join in on the festivities. Special thanks to Comic Geek Speak.


Whack-a-mole

By Xfreak0310

"Hahahahaaahaaaaa," cackled the Joker as he burst into the Gotham Chuck E. Cheese. "This is a hold up!" With that, he pulled out a pistol and waved it in the air for all to see. The whimpers of frightened children could be heard as their parents tried to comfort them. "Out of my way" screamed the clown prince of crime as he stared at a small child wearing a flash tee-shirt at the whack-a-mole machine.

As he spoke, he aimed his weapon pulling the trigger. At that moment, a triumphant banner sprang from the barrel proudly displaying in a fancy script one word-"BANG". The Joker laughed wickedly. "All of you," he called to his stooges; "you can take anything you want and eat anything you want, but the whack-a-mole machine it MINE!!!!!"

Punch, Judy, and Harley sprang to life and danced around the room frightening Chuck E. Cheese customers! The Joker jumped up onto the stage, and whacked the giant animatronic rodent in the head with his colorful cane. "I have the best hobby in the world!!!" he crackled. "Mista J!!!" screamed Harley Quinn. "This Better be important" the Joker grumbled, "Can't you see I'm terrorizing this child?" "Sorry Mista J," Harley apologized, "but can't we get rid of all these kids, they're sta'tin ta give me the cweeps!!!!! The Joker then twisted the top of his cane releasing Joker Venom into the building. Ninety-seven children and their parents started to laugh hysterically. Within seconds, there were ninety-seven small smiling dead faces on the floor. The joker started to laugh. "Laughter is the best medicine," he sad, "but it looks like it's too late for Jr. here!!!"

After the festivities, the Joker ordered his goons to take the whack-a-mole machine outside. "Be careful with it," he ordered Punch and Judy, "Ya break it, ya buy it!!!!" With that he burst into a fit of laughter. "Sometimes I'm just too funny for words!!" His slaves diligently brought the machine outside. "Where to boss?" asked Judy. The Joker smiled. "Hope you're not afraid of crocks, were going under Gotham."

Harley smiled. "Oh Mista J," she began, "are you the sma'test thing in the woild or what!? But what are we ganna do in the sewers?" "Well," he answered, "It's nearly Christmas time, and I thought I'd spread the Christmas cheer, that's all, Oh I just love Christmas!" It was no surprise that the clown began to snicker.

"Ya know something; I really lucked out meetin' a guy like you." Harley Quinn said as they crawled into the Sewers behind Punch and Judy. "Oh, please," said the Joker, "don't not flatter me." They stood up and the Joker started scoping out his new base of operations. "Now," began the Joker. "as soon as my order from Bang Co. arrives, we'll be in business. This is going to be the most explosive Christmas ever!!!"

Bruce Wayne is not by any means an impatient person, but everyone has a breaking point. "Dick," he yelled, waiting at the door, "we're going to be late!" Dick Grayson, the boy wonder came dashing down the stairs of Wayne Manor fidgeting with his bowtie. "I don't understand why we have to go to some boring party," he said as Bruce helped him with his attire. Bruce smiled; so much of the boy he took in reminded him of himself. "Mayor Hill asked me to speak at his award ceremony this evening." He leaned over close to the boy, "Is your costume underneath that tux?" The boy smiled. "Good, you never know when Gotham will be in trouble."

As he spoke, Alfred Pennyworth walked in. "Would you like me to ready the car, Master Bruce?" he asked. "Yes, thank you Alfred," the man replied. Alfred fetched the Lamborghini and pulled up to the door for Bruce and Dick. The two got in, and headed for the Gotham City Hall.

Hamilton Hill sat in his large upholstered chair. He had his feet stretched out on his desk and was lying back relaxing. A buzz sounded, followed by his assistant on the intercom. "Sir," she said, "the banquet is about to begin." Mayor Hill smiled; he knew he was a genius. Have a large ceremony to celebrate Gordon's re-instatement, but at the same time make some cash from Gotham's richer citizens-by charging forty-five dollars a plate for the meal. Hill smiled as he stood up, and began getting dressed.

Meanwhile, the Joker went to the post office to pick up the package he ordered from Bang Co. He had his gun with him; he knew he would need it. He strolled in and stood right in front of the clerk's face. "I have a package to pick up for Harley Quinzel," He sneered. The woman looked blankly as if the unusually clad man in front of her was nothing extraordinary. "One moment please," she said with no emotion. "Make it snappy!" he yelled.

The woman came back seconds later she wheeled out a box the size of a washing machine with some difficulty. "That will be six hundred and twenty-three dollars and sixty-six cents," once again with no more emotion than the cardboard box next to her. "SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY-THREE DOLLARS!!!!!!" the Joker screamed. "AND sixty-six cents," the clerk added, "Will that be cash or charge?"

The Joker laughed as he pulled out his gun and then laughed some more. "Do you really expect THE CLOWN PRINCE OF CRIME to pay? HELO, did you hear the word CRIME?" He pointed his gun at her. She smiled for possibly for the first time in her life. "Have a nice day sir," she whimpered. The Joker whistled and ordered Punch and Judy to take the box out to their truck. Before he turned around, he pulled the trigger. The clerk flinched as she saw the Jokers fourth favorite word; BANG!

"And so, with out further ado, may I present our newly re-instated Commissioner; Commissioner Gordon!" The crowd applauded. Gordon stood up to the microphone. He began to drone on about something or other. Dick was so bored; he didn't hear a word from the mayor or the commissioner. A faint beep sounded from Bruce's watch. He went up to go to the restroom.

When he arrived and saw no one else was there, he hit a button on his watch. "What is it Alfred?" he asked. Alfred responded, "I got an anonymous tip that the joker is in the sewers under Gotham. He is going to blowup the city with in two hours. Bruce went back into the banquet room and walked over to Dick. "let's go," he said, "we need to check up on our friend, the Joker."


End file.
